August 2001
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Decording—Della
McGee at Metaphysical Emporium, White Bear Lake, MN
Healing your life
by decording your negative attachments
DELLA MCGEE
SEVERAL YEARS AGO, I was involved in a toxic relationship. Through the powerful process
of decording I was able to detach myself from the situation in a positive way. Decording
is a healing process that helps people to resolve relationship pains and struggles,
and to create new or renewed
relationships based in joy and radiant fulfillment in every aspect of their lives.
Over the years that I’ve used this process with clients, I’ve observed decording
generate both immediate results of greater comfort and happiness, and long-term gains
of more productive, graceful lives. It soothes
turbulent emotions and frees up obsessions, leaving the client to get on with what
he or she came here to do with more pleasure and ease.
A personal journey
I was angry. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways I would like to see
her harmed. . . burned in oil, teeth pulled out one by one. All the ways I had envisioned
her dying were not enough to satisfy my bitterness. I hated her beyond what I thought
was my capacity to hate. I shocked and
surprised myself. I had thought that I was a compassionate person and never would
have
believed myself capable of hating at that level, so raw and bare. Although I am compassionate,
I can hate at that level and I did.
This is how I began to develop my version of decording. The first step that I needed
to take was admit how rage-filled I was. Denying my anger was keeping me in pain
and keeping me in progress. So I wrote and wrote about everything I felt inside.
Page after page of destruction and violence all came out onto beautiful white paper.
My rage exhausted me, but seeing it outside of me rather than simply feeling it churning
within me was the beginning of relief.
This freed me to feel another level of emotion—deep sadness. I wept and wept for
how much I hated her. Once I released the rage, even some of it, I began to feel
sad. I grieved what I had lost in myself through hating, and what I had lost in my
friendship with her.
“She” had been my best friend. She introduced me to God—not the God my parents taught
me, but an expanded version of God with whom I could begin to have a genuine relationship.
God wasn’t limited to a “him” any longer. This new God became me. I loved my friend
for showing me my divinity. I put her on a pedestal and when she slept with my son’s
father, I put her on a cross
and crucified her. I savored each nail as her flesh yielded to them. I threw the
spear that pierced her side and gladly watched as the blood spilled free from the
wound. Even after the rage subsided, I wondered how I could ever heal from such betrayal.
When I first learned of decording from a colleague, I had no idea the role it would
play in my life, nor did I realize how much the process would become my own through
innovation and experimentation. Before this time, I didn’t know about the energetic
attachments we have to one another. I didn’t know that those energetic attachments
were formed by our thoughts and projected by our emotions. My anger and hate, and
later feelings of betrayal and grief, had been keeping me energetically connected
to my former friend in an extremely negative way.
Decording is a process in which unhealthy energetic attachments are replaced by true
health. This is what I learned to do, and what I did to heal myself and my relationship
to my former friend. Decording can be done in a number of ways:
Visualization
Surround yourself in light. Take several deep breaths. Feel yourself safe, protected,
and whole. Imagine the higher self of the individual from whom you are decording
standing in front of you. The individual’s higher self is also surrounded in light.
See, sense, feel, or know where the energetic attachments are coming from their body
into yours. I imagine these attachments (cords) to look like an electrical cord that
an appliance might have.
Imagine angels or your guides pulling those cords out of your body and sending them
either back to the individual or on to Source. Fill the space where the cords were
with light. When you feel all the cords are released, check your body for cords coming
from your body to the individual. Call those cords back in to yourself.
Imagine any remaining unhealthy material that you own with regard to this person
being released into a place in which it can be healed. Invite the higher self of
the other person to do the same. Carolyn Myss names this “calling back your spirit.”
When we have unhealthy attachments to one another, we leak energy from ourselves
and become fatigued. Calling your spirit back calls your energy fully back into yourself
so that you may begin to feel calm and restored.
Write a letter
Writing a letter to the individual purges the soul. This is similar to the first
process of release I wrote about my former friend. Tell the individual all the things
you would honestly like to say. Seal it in an envelope, then burn it. Imagine the
flames are transforming the attachment into light.
Ceremony
Combine the above two suggestions to create a simple ceremony to honor your process.
Set up a sacred space with a beautiful cloth. Place a candle and a burning bowl in
the center. Set your intention for ceremony by calling in your guidance to assist
you in this process. Write your letter. Go through the steps of the visualization.
Burn the letter. Thank the person for coming to teach you. Thank the energies that
assisted you throughout your process.
After each step, sit back and check in with your body. How do you feel? Do you feel
lighter? Has your energy returned? Do you feel as if you released the individual?
Is there more to do? If so, go through the process again when you are ready.
A healing trial
We hadn’t seen each other in five years. One Sunday morning I walked into church
and there she was. I had never seen her there before. It was time to put the decording
to the test, and I was ready. I was no longer angry. I no longer wanted harm to come
to her. When we saw one another we embraced and cried in each other’s arms. Shortly
after that Sunday she moved out of state. I never saw her again.
Through the process of decording I came to understand what she came to teach me.
She showed me my own capacity for hate and forgiveness. She illuminated both strong
and weak areas in my life, and offered me an opportunity to heal in both. She had
to love me a great deal to bring me this lesson. In The Little Soul And The Sun by
Neale Donald Walsch, God tells us, “I have
sent you nothing but angels.” My friend was my angel—twice.
Della McGee conducts decording sessions in person at the Metaphysical Emporium
in White Bear Lake or via telephone appointments. For further information or to schedule
an appointment, contact her at Dmcgee7150@aol.com or phone 651-437-4106.
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2001 Twin Cities WELLNESS newspaper.
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